Someone teach me how to...

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DATE!

As the story goes, I do NOT know how to date appropriately. First things first, Jeannette always says I need to get out of the house first. Ok...let's say I do venture out into the elements and I meet someone who catches my interest (other than Mr. Tremaine)...here is my typical pattern - if I talk to them a few times and my interest is still piqued, then I do not feel the need to venture out and meet MORE men to date. Now all of my free time when I WANT to go on a date, I am going to want to go on a date with said man AND even if I KNOW the "relationship" (no commitment to each other, but we are still in some sort of relationship, right?!) is going no where, I will continue to "date" this person because it gives me something to do (I actually did this for over 2 years a few years ago - didn't even like the guy, yet I continued to date him - all my friends were in relationships, so I figured it gave me something to do while they were working or with their beaus).

I have NOW recognized the error of my ways - well, I actually recognized it awhile back, but opted not to step out of my comfort zone because WHAT WAS I GOING TO DO IF I DIDN'T HAVE ANY DATES LINED UP?! Yes, this was my thought process for a LONG time!!!

So now I am willing to work on fixing this mindset. I want to date (nothing physical, JUST date) multiple men to see who/ what complements me and my lifestyle the best so we can fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after. This is how it is supposed to work, right?!

I know there are some qualities I am definitely looking for - but I am pretty much open to getting myself out there again...after all, I am getting old and I do want to have a few babies - being a wife and mommy would be the best job ever and Price needs some cousins! But HOW do I break out of this bad habit of "monogamous" dating? What do you guys suggest?!

P.S. For the record, I would completely NOT object to Tremaine being under my tree on Christmas morning.

CONVERSATION

1 comments:

  1. AnonymousDecember 21, 2011 at 3:13 PM

    Ok first of all figure out what it is that you enjoy doing, and do it or take a course in something that interests you. I have usually found the best men when I wasn't thinking about it and totally engrossed in having fun.
    Now dating them. What i have found is if they come looking for you after the first encounter, if they are interested. They do like the hunt and usually not the feeling of being pursued. But there are always exceptions and bruised egos, but don't get overly caught up in fixing them. A. That is not your job, that is their job to get support, take classes etc. B. They will usually take off with someone else once you have fixed them. You want to find a functioning male. One who can have fun, has goals and outcomes. Relaxes and is honest in their dealings with you and others, and someone who can stand on their own two feet. Hence as you are doing these things in your own life you will find a like mate.
    Moving on, dates should be fun creative encounters, that involves conversation by both parties, in an environment that inspires good feelings, and if you can incorporate play and laughter as well as a bit of physical challenge you can get a chance to see how he and you fare in joint activities. After all that's what all this dating is about right. He should be inviting you into his preferred activities and you him into yours. As you do this with a few males in various scenarios you get a feel of who is in and who has to go. Not jumping into sex is always good because once that becomes an element there are always the hormonal attachments to deal with and people often think that they are in love when it is mostly a chemical attraction to a injection of pheromones and that relaxed state after orgasm.
    If this is helpful and you want more just ask. Much love, Aunt T.

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