It is no secret...I love the holidays! Outside of creating memories and magic for the children (not only did we watch Home Alone constantly...the kid was introduced to 2 & 3...he loves them all), everything around me sparkles. Between lights, glitter, and beaming smiles, you cannot help but to become enchanted by the glow and the friendliness you encounter from complete strangers.

Reindeer bait

Christmas tree french toast and hot chocolate for breakfast

The first snowfall of the season

FOP Christmas party

Santa pics

Pizza at our fave neighborhood spot - Earth Bread & Brewery

Twas the night before Christma

Christmas Eve boxes

Watching a movie as they wait on Santa

The calm before the storm

BUT you know what I want to take well into 2018 even though the decor is all packed away...the personalities that shine during the holiday season. Continue to smile, say hello, help strangers, respect your peers, speak up if something is NOT right, and have an open heart. It is up to us to create and promote the environment and positive vibes we want to live in and receive. Never forget to sparkle. 

Since I always take time off from work during October, I managed to find the time to actually sit still and read. I was quite pleased with the selections that awaited me...

I was all ready to type up a post for today. And then I received a text...it stopped me in my tracks and I lost ALL FOCUS. What happened you wonder?! I'm glad you asked...

Drea said: I have been on a Dunkin kick the last week or so. Don't judge me, k? 

With my head cocked to the side, I re-read it a few times just for confirmation my mind wasn't playing tricks on me. All I saw & heard in my head were lights & sirens. This was definitely a cry for help, no?!

We had previously discussed a coffee maker for her home...like I understand brewing in house OR trying out local coffee shops...BUT DUNKIN?! Nope.

Ironically I drank it yesterday because it is my mom's fave, however, my mom isn't fueled by coffee - she is a casual drinker. But Drea & I...coffee makes us go...allows words to flow...ensures we stay composed...and guarantees we handle ALL THE THINGS.

it seems like you snuck up on me this year. Maybe snuck isn't the right word. I was fully aware of your presence, yet I have not managed to solidify ANY plans. WHO AM I?! But don't fret, I scheduled time off from work so all is NOT lost.

The only things I know for certain: I want balloons, sparklers, champagne, AND cake.
NYC is also calling my name loudly...and the spa...I guess this year I will just go with the flow...or take a nap. Now THAT sounds good.

Any suggestions on restaurants with a rooftop for dinner or brunch?! I may get yelled at if I don't come up with SOMETHING.

Remember the time I wrote a letter to my future husband?! Somehow there is still no recipient.

However, Alicia made a Facebook post the other day that immediately garnered my attention. It read: if he makes your coffee how you like, he's your boyfriend. 

Now you know I couldn't keep my mouth shut and commented with: F that...I'm marrying him! 

You see my friends and I take our coffee seriously. It either makes or breaks our day (no rehab needed)...and there is NOTHING worse than a bad cup. (Full disclosure: there are probably only 4 people who could order my coffee just how I like it.) I should come with a warning label when this happens.

So if a man took the time to pay that much attention to how I like/order my coffee, he is definitely a keeper AND a life saver.

Do you think I would be able to convince him to bring it to me in bed too?!

I loved the Sip on This hashtag for my blogiversary so much, I decided to start a blog series with the title. This series will delve into my opinion on current events and things going on in my life. You can also submit questions pertaining to anything I feature on the blog to stilettoswithmylatte@gmail.com and I will answer them here too. We are featuring a guest blogger to kick this thing off. I couldn't think of a more perfect first post when it was delivered to my inbox. So pour your drink and get ready to sip. 
I have been married for over 8 years and it is time for me to be honest with myself...at times I regret it. Not sure if the regret is who I chose to marry or the fact that I decided to get married at all - this is still TBD.

Nonetheless, as with every situation I find myself in, I try to reflect on the lessons I have learned. So here goes nothing...

1. There will be days that I don't like him (and that's ok), but the love I have for him will never cease. It is UNCONDITIONAL! ♥️ 
2. Sometimes you just have to go to bed mad  (but we didn't promise each other we wouldn't, so it seems I'm covered )
3. Accept that my marriage is NOT like everyone else's relationship. (This is a hard one for me because I want the happy ending, the PDA, the love, the admiration, the support, the acceptance, the just because gestures. And it's not because I don't deserve it because I ABSOLUTELY DO. It's because he is just NOT THAT GUY...anymore ). 
4. I love when he grabs my ass (I mean that is what it's there for, right??? OR do I not like my ass?) 
5. Sometimes marriage changes things (idk why, it just does). Maybe it's the title of spouse, or the expectation of the roles and responsibilities - either way, in my case it has definitely changed things between us. 
6. Intimacy is either a thing of the past or it never existed (can't say for certain, but I know it's not there now ).
7. Keep my vibrator close!  I never know when I might need a reliable friend for those moments when I don't want him to touch me (shit, he only touches me when HE is feeling horny, but lucky me I never have to worry about that issue because I keep a battery stash).
8. Crying is inevitable .  I cry because I am happy, mad, sad, alone, frustrated, unappreciated, etc. But crying in front of him is unacceptable and can be seen as a moment of weakness. So I take my moment and shed my tears in private and it's ok.
9. To cheat or not to cheat...I'm just going to leave this here. 
10. Define cheating (this should have been determined in the super beginning stages for us, however, this is still a gray area).
11. It's extremely difficult to recover from a division once it's already there. Trust is hard to get back once it's lost - not impossible, just extremely difficult. It takes a lot of hard work and persistence, but together anything is possible.
12. No pictures please!!! ❌ This means it never happened - got it! I don't understand it, but hey, it's HIS rule sooo you would have to ask him (only our wedding album exists). 
13. No social media interactions (I don't even know if he knows my handles and TBH I don't think he cares. This is his rule, at least he is single on IG right?) 
14. Date Nights are not needed (well a date night requires us to spend time with each other soooo that is a definite 🛑NEGATIVE🛑  - being married means we eliminated dating, in HIS eyes).
15. Limit conversation to the necessities (kids, bills, family maybe) - veering off topic may cause conflict. 
16. Saying "I'm sorry" is needed at times, but sometimes it's not enough.

And finally, here are 7 things I wish I could change:
A. Make him love me just as much as I love him
B. Make him understand how his actions and words (or lack thereof) are hurtful to me. It's important to me to have intimacy, affection, admiration, and appreciation. Every woman wants to be desired AND appreciated. 
C. Sometimes we can play by my rules. Currently, his seem to run the marriage. 
D. Sometimes I just want to be held, told I'm pretty, that he likes my hair...a compliment every now and then could help my self-esteem (even if he is lying).
E. More sex...
F. Function as a team instead of as individuals - living separate lives seems to be way it is (he has no desire to be integrated into my life as I do with his)
G. Sometimes before you act think "How would this make me, YOUR WIFE, feel" instead of "FUCK IT, I do what I want" 
H. I want to be his Queen , his #WCE, his rib, his breath, his favorite hello, his hardest goodbye, his bff, his life partner, the Bonnie to his Clyde, his Gina to his Martin, and I want EVERYONE else to know it too.  (I know it's petty, but without this validation, I begin to question my worth to him and I begin to question if I'm good enough).
*Disclaimer: This was sent to the husband a week before I hit publish. He has yet to respond.*