Stilettos With My Latte: Single in the City

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Since I always take time off from work during October, I managed to find the time to actually sit still and read. I was quite pleased with the selections that awaited me...

What We Lose by Zinzi Clemmons

Zinzi Clemmons is from Philly, so when I saw this book being discussed on twitter it moved to the top of my list. I breezed through and so many lines gave me pause and I want to add it to our book club queue so I can discuss it all. But that won't stop me from talking about it here. Ha!

In my mind sex and love were inextricably linked...I have never believed this and can easily compartmentalize sex and love in separate boxes.

When I was with him, a piece of me was in place, and I was a whole, acceptable human being to my mother. Just WOW! As women, do we make life decisions in order to please our mother?! I can say in my teens and 20s, most of my decisions always were against what my mother advised. I loved to test the boundaries.

I made myself available to him all the time, and it wasn't long before he'd used me all up, grew bored, decided he needed more...My girlfriends have ALWAYS advised me against this - I used to be available according to when men wanted to see me even if it meant more effort on my part. In my 30s, I am extremely comfortable in saying no and offering other suggestions.

There is a casualness bred from familiarity that makes me at ease around him, that drew me to him in the first place. Does this familiarity also cause many people to hold on to dead end situations?

Domesticity was harder to find in a partner now, because of feminism, and just like a job candidate who can code HTML, it was something that set you above the others. I so want to learn more HTML. Lol! But uhhhh, I can honestly say knowing how to cook, bake, and clean may set you apart, but it does not guarantee you will be in a healthy relationship. So there's that...all this skill and finding yourself overqualified because men are used to subpar or are intimidated by your abilities because you have a career too...oh wait, I am not getting on this rant today.

Needless to say I loved this book!

Grand Opening 2: A Family Busness Novel by Carl Weber

I find myself anxiously waiting for every family business novel to be released. I could not put this book down, and now I just have to get to January 30 for my next fix.

New York, Actually by Sarah Morgan

I am craving a trip to the big city (can you believe I did not get to NYC at all during Libra season?!), I picked this up to tide me over until I can get there. I actually really enjoy Sarah Morgan's From Manhattan With Love book series. It may be on the level of Hallmark Christmas movies and we all know how I feel about those.

In This Moment by Karma Brown

This is only my 2nd book I read from this author. I have yet to be disappointed. And we will end on this one line I quickly scribbled down...how amazing it is that a tree will continue growing right over something standing in its way, burying the past as it does. We should all strive to be like trees, no?! Continuously growing and leaving our past behind us.

For my birthday, Wanesha not only got me a copy of Gabrielle Union's book...she also got it signed! I cannot wait to dive into this one!

Are you finding yourself lost between the covers on this rainy Sunday?

Hmmm...maybe since I am taking off a few days from work, I will find the time to actually plow through the books I have on my night stand. The stack KEEPS growing, yet I cannot commit (apparently this is a problem in other areas of my life as well...more on this later). I did manage to get lost in a few this month though.

The One I've Waited For by Mary B. Morrison

Something about the title...the ONE I'VE WAITER FOR...I am not known for my patience...and I could not see myself idly waiting for a man...the title is deceiving and I did enjoy the latest release in The Crystal series.

Finding Gideon by Eric Jerome Dickey

The Gideon series started in 2007 and I have loved every release, however, it took me so long to finish this book. For some reason, I could not get into it...yet, I couldn't stop reading it since I have read all the others. I hope the next one is better...does this mean I am a glutton for punishment since we know I will read it?!

Locked in Temptation by Brenda Jackson

Not sure I fell in love with Joy & Stonewall as much as I did in the other characters in the Protector series. However, I could relate to Joy - and there was a poignant line when discussing her interaction with men and how she didn't want to be transparent in what she shared. The type of exchange she was comfortable with. The type that went nowehere and was all superficial.

I am a firm believer everything is NOT for everybody, YET I should probably work on being open to reveal more of myself to others outside of my circle.

Joy was also a cop and in retrospect, she thought a good cop is a well-rested cop, not an overworked one. With all the protests and overtime going on in the country, I think about this all the time...how can one make rational decisions if they are constantly overworked?! We all need sleep, right?! And coffee is NOT the cure all. YET these men & women along with all the other professions in the life saving business, rise to the occassion regardless of the amount of sleep they received the night before. AND THAT to me is dedication.

The Think About Love by Julie James

Ahhhh...the thing about love...trust me to know what I want...

I would ask for book recommendations, BUT my list is long enough as is...so make a note and tell me next year.

Let's have a moment to discuss Freeform's The Bold Type. After watching the pilot, I immediately fell in love.

Ahhhh the fashion...now we all now, a lot of their outfits would not be allowed in an office...even if you are working for a fashion magazine. Although many jobs have lax dress codes, crop tops are always a no in the work place, right?!

There isn't enough time or space for us to really delve into their relationships. Although they are in their early 20s, my single girlfriends and I are STILL dealing with the same issues. But we all know I am Jane, right?! With a TOUCH of Sutton. I swooned when Sutton declared: I want to be the girl you can't stop thinking about. I DESERVE to be that girl.

Also, how many times have we as women heard I should have fought harder for you. Am I the only one who gets sick of screening phone calls and blocking exes from social media?! Should have, would have, could have...

As they manuevered through the unchartered waves of life, their loyalty endeared me. No matter what, Kat, Jane, and Sutton always showed up & supported each other...even if it was in a bath tub, drinking wine. Friends don't let friends drink alone.

Building on these positive women interactions, mentorship was a pivotal part of the show. Jane found a gem in Jacqueline. As a manager, Jacqueline was able to identify Jane's weaknesses and push her outside of her comfort zone. This allowed Jane to recognize and explore her own potential, essentially building her confidence as a woman. Imagine your boss telling you: looking back, that's exactly why it was the right decision. Because it was the one that scared the shit out of me.

Oliver was another great mentor to Sutton's benefit and advised her to keep bringing your passion – that is how you are going to make your mark.

So what are my major take aways from The Bold Type?!

#1. It is time we all start getting comfortable with being uncomfortable in all aspects of life in order to experience growth.
#2. Ask for what I want...unapologetically.
#3. I need to get a mentor in my field - STAT! Shana told me this years ago, I did not listen.
#4. Never be scared to speak my mind...just always find a tactful approach.
#5. BE BOLD.

Did you love this show as much as I did?!

Remember this post, The Social Media Nightmare?! Well, I am back 2 years later with more to add - are you ready?! AND THIS TIME...it is in terms of dating.

For me, social media makes it damn near impossible to even consider seriously dating.

Let me explain...if we meet, just know there will be a thorough investigation. And even before the main focus of my job revolved around social media, I still gained access to everything I needed to know. No data was left unturned and just for verification purposes, back up research is conducted by friends. We then compile all intel and put together the pieces of the puzzle until a clear picture is painted.

And I must say, we love a good story especially when we are in the getting to know you phase...it is interesting to see who will actually trust you with their truth instead of just telling you what they feel you want to hear in order to get what it is they want from you. Wow! I just said a mouthful...yet there is more since there is NO privacy once you hit "post", "share", "tweet", or "publish". I feel some people forget this part.

While perusing your social media accounts, there are many things I observe and learn. Let's dive in shall we beginning with patterns & schedule - please do not tell me you went to bed at 8:30, when I text you at 9, and FB says you were active 1 minute ago.

Likes and the videos/content you share implies life interests and helps me gain an understanding of what you may want from me.

The next one I think goes without being said, BUT if you constantly post with spelling & grammatical errors, then I am assuming you are either careless OR uneducated. Neither is appealing.

Ahhhh...next on the list are the posted pictures. This has so many layers. Your style of dress let's me know how much work I have cut out for me if I take you serious; the background/messiness of your home let's me know how much work I have cut out for me if we ever live together; also, it is questionable if as a man you are constantly taking and posting selfies.

Now let's touch base on the rants. If you go on a social media rant every time something happens to you, it will be hard for me to trust you. Therfore, we cannot build. I am a private person - every relationship has issues. I don't want to fear that if we ever get in an argument, you will post our business in order to get attention elsewhere. Because that IS your intent with rants...seeking attention. Some people thrive off of constant validation and social media is their avenue of choice. After all, their fan club will give them a show. *giggles*

Do you see where I am going with this??? Social media takes the fun out of dating or it allows me to cut my losses quicker. Not sure which one I am leaning towards. BUT in order for me to consider dating you, I do not want to feel like I am dealing with your representative and then you are constantly putting on a show via public forums. OR is it that your true self shines on social media where you are most comfortable and with me, you pretend to be who you think I want??? All too much to decipher.

Let's all just try to remember a few simple rules: be genuine and true to yourself always; create moments for the memories and pleasure...NOT simply for the likes; everything is not for everybody...save some details for yourself and loved ones...cherish those things; lastly, BE. HERE. NOW. So you can learn how to listen with a still heart, with a waiting, open soul, without passion, without desire, without judgment, without opinions. - Hermann Hesse

And only then can we begin to build.

Let's talk about this one - has the obsession with social media caused issues in your relationships?

Have you ever felt like the universe was attacking??? A man hit my car and then denied his fault once we involved insurance companies; multiple deaths; and then the hard drive ribbon on my Macbook broke while I was working on a big project. I felt the need to escape to NYC to regroup before I dove into the holidays.

Luckily, Amber was in town and willing to take a road trip with me.

We had no plan, we just wanted to indulge in some good drinks & food, while taking in some holiday decor. As we walked to meet up with my cousin, Tiara, we stumbled upon the Renaissance Hotel. This has become my favorite hotel in the city. After all, they have a rooftop restaurant/bar which is open all year round.

Cheers to stomping through life, conquering all challenges thrown our way.

Sage Against the Machine was delicious!

Tiara was visiting the east coast from Texas. Her and her girlfriends met us on the rooftop so we could catch up.

Sooooo our bartender was opposed to muddling or shaking too much to make our drinks. BUT I wanted a shot over this huge ice cube...yet I do not drink regular shots. We reached a compromise. He poured cranberry juice over the ice and I pretended to take a shot. Yum!

All bars should have outlets underneath their counters - we got real comfortable as our phones recharged

What a greeting in the elevator! Some older patrons were offended.

They had great signs posted above each bathroom stall...each one made me giggle even more.

I think I need to stay here the next time I treat myself to an overnight in the city. I cannot wait to uncover the surprises in their rooms.

As we traipsed through the NYC streets, I looked down and saw this written on the sidewalk.

Macy's always does a great job with their window decor.

And of course, we went to Bryant park to check out the Christmas vendors, ice skating, and their tree.

I wanted to go on 5th Ave to observe their over the top decor, however, I did not feel like dealing with the traffic surrounding Trump Tower.

It only seemed right to end our day with dessert. After all, my sweet tooth is insatiable. I introduced Amber to Milkbar and Magnolia Bakery. With a renewed spirit & a surge in energy, we blasted holiday music and made our way back home. Thanks Amber for experiencing Christmas in the city with me and allowing me the opportunity to just exhale.

Finally New York, we meet again! I typically kick off Libra season with NYC, but this year I was forced to save you for last due to other obligations. AND we were really praying for some good weather. Thanks for letting up on the rain as we entered the city.

I have been dying to eat at The Sugar Factory.

Upon walking in, I was immediately captivated by the decor...

As we were led downstairs and to our table, Drea and I both looked at each other excitedly...I think we noticed the same thing, at the same time. We can call this an "aha moment". We were presented with a staff of ALL MEN...friendly, nice looking men. I told her this was all God...he was like I know it took a lot of energy to get up and GO to NYC and you were hesitant about driving due to weather and parking...and I know it was frustrating that it took over an hour to get out of Chestnut Hill due to the Harry Potter festival...but you are now in your favorite city...here's a parking spot out front...and lots of eye candy for you to indulge in as you dine...you're welcome. And all I could say was THANK YOU LORD.

I was cautious on ordering a 60oz drink because after all...I was driving...BUT we also had some walking to do in the city and the cold would sober me right up...and like O (our waiter) & Drea said...IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY GIRL. Get your drink!

I went with the White Gummi

And of course, I dug out some of the gummy worms to eat them too!

Drea told me I was NOT allowed to order a burger and fries, which made me laugh incessantly. Sooooooo we went for brunch options again - (was this libra season filled with brunch?! Does this mean I need to do dinner out somewhere soon?!) She ordered chicken & waffles, I ordered classic french toast with a side of white chocolate (did I mention ALL of their waffles, pancakes, crepes, and french toast come with an option of milk, white, or dark chocolate?!) and we shared everything.

This meal was delicious and I cannot wait to go back to try their burger and fries. LOL!

Next up, sparklers and key lime pie. Could you tell I was excited about them singing happy birthday to me?! YOU GO GIRL!

Gearing up to brave the cold...but FIRST, I had to grab my jacket and hat from the car because it was starting to rain again...

And yes, I took pictures on someone's brownstone as we walked...can you tell the wind was blowing HARD?! I could not strike a proper pose fearful of my dress blowing up!

And where were we headed to...Magnolia Bakery of course. Drea wanted to try their banana pudding and I had to get some cupcakes.

I will be trying this key lime pie bar next time I visit

As we trekked along in the Meatpacking District, we noticed something...this area of NYC was quiet. I am not sure if it was because of the forecast, or if this area along the Hudson River is an escape from the hustle & bustle of the Times Square area. But there was a sign posted...if you honked your horn, you were at risk of receiving a $350 ticket. WHAT?!

I am sure you all know the last place we had to hit up before we left the city...Milk Bar!

I had free birthday cake truffles to pick up along with a birthday cake shake to go please.

The first sip is always a party in my mouth. It makes no sense how good this shake tastes.

Oh New York, although that may have been the quickest trip in and out for me ever, you always treat me so well. I am one happy girl!

I have a confession to make...until my birthday, I had NEVER experienced a night out in DC. I had no desire to after experiencing all the traffic driving there for business meetings when I was a media planner.

BUT Amber knew I was a tad bit stressed and had not finalized any birthday plans. One day, she sent me a link and when I clicked on it...I was SOLD! I would actually celebrate my birthday in DC this year, I just had to find something for us to do the night before. The planning was officially underway!

What we didn't account for were heavy downpours...it ended up taking us almost 5 hours to get to our hotel. Thankfully, Amber made us a road trip play list per my request with all our favorite songs we used to love in high school. With nonstop laughs and singing, we finally checked into our hotel and I was starving. I knew if I planned on drinking anything, I had to eat...Popeye's to the rescue.

We only had less than 90 minutes to make it to the event, and of course I had to first take pictures which meant our room became a tornado as I staged pics in between eating, a birthday toast, showering, and throwing on clothes.

Somehow we managed to leave back out within 40 minutes...good thing we told valet not to go too far with the car...we had new experiences to encounter. AND it must have been our lucky day, the rain officially stopped as it was time to paint the town red.

Right before we left for Costa Rica, Amber wanted to go to the Sweet Spot in Philadelphia. I was too crammed with work and spending time with Price before I left for a week, so I promised we would go later in the year. Ironically, they had a masquerade themed event on my birthday. I quickly bought us tickets and had no idea what to expect. I thought it was simply an open mic night. Boy, was I in for a surprise!

There is a rule - what happens at The Sweet Spot stays at The Sweet Spot, so without going into too much detail let's just say we had an interesting, yet entertaining night. There was poetry, singing, performances, interactive games, and a lively after party inside The Howard Theater.

Oh the drink specials... pictured above were leg spreaders...they also offered a sweet spot and deep throat. And if you wanted to sample all 3, you simply requested a threesome.

Amber was driving, so let's just say I ended up drinking both and definitely needed to eat because we had an early morning. Can you guess what I wanted to eat on my birthday?! If you said PIZZA, winner winner, chicken dinner!

Jeannette suggested we try And Pizza - can you believe they were open after 2am with a LONG line?!

I quickly got in line as we talked to patrons around us (people in DC are so friendly!) and decided how we wanted to customize our individual pies. I went with spicy tomato sauce and pepperoni. Nom nom nom. Amber got fancy with spicy tomato sauce, mushrooms, and other things I cannot remember.

Ahhhhh...we finally made it back to the hotel at 2:55am - WHAT AM I STILL DOING UP?! And yes, I traded in my stilettos for flip flops!

We had opened a bottle of champagne before leaving the room...and you know the rule, once you open it...YOU DRINK IT. Cheers to 34!

This is where I decided to finish the bottle and eat my pizza...all in the mirror...on the floor. My goal this year is to perfect my mirror selfie. If you have a mirror in your home and I am visiting, practice sessions will resume. No mirror will go untried.

I have a rule...I told Price he can only jump on beds IN hotels...I decided to give this bed a whirl!

Finally...all gone...and we had about 4 hours to sleep before our brunch reservations. *squeals*

It was finally time for Sir Sundays at Sax. I was a tad bit tired...but ready for this male burlesque show while I brunched.

We were early because we wanted to claim our VIP seating. The venue was opulent. As we walked in, I expected to just go to my seat and wait for the show...to our surprise, we were greeted by a chorus of good morning while the men were already dancing in combat boots and underwear. We were off to a great morning in deed!

I NEVER knew this was a thing, but I am thinking when I get married we should incorporate Sir Sundays into my household with my husband bringing me my coffee and a cupcake in this uniform. Please note - I ABHOR uniforms, but this one right here is just what the doctor ordered!

We were led to our seats...front and center with all access to the stage where they performed. Oh baby!

Here is the menu of what we were served by our table stud. Full disclosure here...the food sucked! I enjoyed my parfait and blueberry muffin, but let's be honest...I was NOT there for the food.

But these unlimited mimosas...YES PLEASE. I have no idea how many times our pitcher was refilled...I lost count after my glass was filled for the 10th time. Yum!

We all know how much I LOVEEEE brunch...I say it enough. I think I may now be jaded. I have to determine if my priority when brunching is now entertainment or good food.

I highly recommend everybody go to The Sweet Spot and Sir Sundays. If you cannot find somebody to go with you, if you twist my arm I will go again.

Let's just say DC treated me well and I loved every minute of our whirlwind in the city. I even want to go back to explore more of the city's restaurants, monuments, and shopping.

I started to feel bad because I felt like I was cheating on NYC...but no worries...I ended Libra season in the city that never sleeps...

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Stop and Go

It's All Or Nothing...

Magic & Fairies

Diving Between October's Covers

Gaining Clarity

Mani Monday: It's A Party on My Nails

Diving Between September's Covers

Be Bold

Well Hello There Libra Season...

Please Don't Ask

The Social Media Nightmare: Part 2

Put the Cream in My Coffee

Christmas in the City

Insatiable Sweet Tooth

Libra Libations

Welcome to Holly's World

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