Guest Blogger (Donna) - Turning 30

Turning 30 – well, now that I’m going to be 34 at the end of March, turning 30 seems like a distant memory.  Recently I’m more concerned with turning 40...  It reminds me of the scene from When Harry Met Sally when Meg Ryan cries “…and I’m going to be forty.”  And Billy Crystal replies, “In eight years.”  Meg Ryan sobs through her explanation – “it’s just sitting there waiting for me.” 

I remember bracing myself for the big three-oh – like my life was going to suddenly change and become unrecognizable.  The funny thing is, when I finally turned 30 I wasn’t at all affected.  It was just another birthday for me – a fun time, but just another birthday. 

It wasn’t until 31 that I had THE BREAKDOWN.  It crept up on me very slowly.  As I entered my thirty-first year, I began to think about everything I’ve done and haven’t done. And I finally realized that my twenties – that decade of my life – was truly over. 

I started to regret not “partying” it up more frequently, taking advantage of one-night-stands (while deep down I knew I NEVER would have) and just being more open to the world around me.  I was so focused on marriage and children that I didn’t stop to take life in.  But what I didn’t remember was everything I had done in my twenties – what I had accomplished.  I have a beautiful daughter, good friends, a great job...  And while the marriage isn’t so great, well you can’t win them all.

If you are looking for life lessons, I’m not sure I have them, but there are a few things I’ve learned along the way.

1). You will not become barren at the age of 30.  Your childbearing years are NOT past you.  I like to reminisce with my friends who have children.  We laugh now about how frantic we were in our younger years about getting pregnant.  First, when we were not ready for children, we were frantic that we would become pregnant.  Then, when we were ready for children, we were frantic that we wouldn’t get pregnant.  I can say this – live your life.  Children are wonderful – I love my daughter more than I can express in words; BUT, once you have children your life is no longer your own.  And while family is a wonderful thing, so is freedom!!!!  Don’t panic that you’ve reached 30 and you are not married with 10 kids – you have time J

2). Be true to yourself.  As women, we do have a sixth sense.  It lets us know when something isn’t right, especially in relationships.  Maybe you shouldn’t use this as your final decision maker, but remember – DO NOT stay in a relationship because you are afraid of getting older and you think it’s time to settle down.  Once you are married and have kids, relationships become much harder to manage.  If you and your partner weren’t right from the beginning, marriage only exacerbates those differences.  Settling down does not mean settling.

3). On a more positive note, in my experience, your thirties bring more opportunities and respect.  People will begin to look at you as an authority.  You will no longer be that “crazy teenager” or “irresponsible twenty-something.”  And while your wisdom may be accompanied by the beginning stages of crows feet and laugh lines (I kid), it is nice to gain the respect of your somewhat older peers J

4). Healthy eating becomes more of a focus.  Now some of us have always been healthy – exercise regularly, eat right – kudos to you.  But, many of us used our twenties to gorge ourselves and subject ourselves to alcohol induced comas.  If you are the latter, then know that healthy eating should become more of a priority.  Since we are not getting any younger it is time to become more responsible with our eating habits.

5). SAVE YOUR MONEY.  As we get older we realize that we actually need money for more than clothes and late night food fests.  While you may not be ready to buy a home tomorrow, you need to be cognizant of the future.  And you need to make sure you can support yourself.  NEVER look to anyone else to support you – it strips you of your independence. 

6). Embrace your thirties!!  Every decade provides us with new learning experiences.  And, sometimes a chance to correct some of our earlier mistakes.  Use these years to continue growing into YOU.  I promise you, you will not have all the answers but you will become a more confident version of yourself.

And, when you get carded it becomes the highlight of your day!!!!!