Lisa is a great older cousin. We may not see each other often, but I do know if I shoot her an email, she is always quick to respond and always has great advice to share. I may not have cousins I grew up with who are my age (besides Adia and Ebony), however, I love having older women in my family I admire and I can count on. Their insight is sometimes needed and crucial to my own development in dire situations. I can only hope my younger female cousins look at me in the same manner and that my mentoring can steer them away from the mistakes I made growing up. THANK YOU Lisa for always being there. I appreciate your existence in my life and you are so much fun to be around. And THANKS for the early birthday wishes. XOXO
Hmmm, 30…I remember it well…SIKE! I was 17 when you were
born! That thought cracks me up!J Fast forward…30
years later, how proud am I to have such a caring, intelligent, beautiful,
compassionate, loving daughter, sister, granddaughter, niece, cousin, aunt,
woman in my family. My reflections on 30 may seem a bit corny but I can only
tell you my truth. Reflecting back, here is where I was…married for 6
years, mother of a 2 year old, pregnant with my second child, working a job
that I was extremely good at but bored me to tears. Thank God there was JOY in
my life from other sources because it wasn’t from my job. While I have honestly
never tripped over getting a year older (I truly don’t understand that), I felt
I was selling myself short by not using my talents. I was full of excuses as to
why “now” was not the time to change career lanes. Looking back though, those years of career uncertainty made me a
better mother and mentor. I encourage everyone to love what they do and do what
they love! For sure though, at 30 I was finally on my way to feeling like a
full fledged G-R-O-W-N WOMAN! Yes, on my way…Dearest, if you haven’t already, I
encourage you to embrace the beauty of 30 and beyond. There is liberation in
leaving your 20’s behind and embracing all that lies ahead. For me words are
everything, there is real power behind them. I would like to share some of my
favorite quotes/personal thoughts (31 to be exact) that I have compiled to date
across my life journey. They guide me through on any given day. I picked them
at random, trusting that God would lead me to share with you what He wanted you
to hear from me. Think of them as candles on your yummy birthday cake, one for
every year lived plus one for good luck -- that’s old school birthday style! J
1) “Act the way you want to be and soon you
will be the way you act!” This quote has been attributed to several people.
I got it from one of Iyanla Vanzant’s books and it is so true.
2) Never
refuse a hug from someone you love, even if you have had a disagreement, hugs
have healing powers and you don’t know if it will be the last time you get to
hug them.
3) NEVER
pass up an opportunity to dance, dance dance!
4) “The grace of God won’t lead you to where
the will of God won’t sustain you.”
--Author Unknown – Amen to that!
5) My
mother, Edith Elaine Smith, used to always say: “Make people pick a temperature with you…hot or cold…don’t let people
be lukewarm” (sometimes nice, sometimes nasty)…or as Maya Angelou put it --“When someone shows you who they are
believe them the first time.” It saves you so much frustration!
6) God
is…why EVERYTHING of course. I have tried Him and seen what He has done in my
life, so trust and believe He is an awesome wonder to behold!
7) Don’t
save clothes for a special occasion, if it felt good buying it, it will feel
even better wearing it. Saving something for a special occasion is silly. Treat
everyday day as a special occasion, when you do the JOY will naturally
gravitate to you!
8) Remember,
if you wake up, breathing on your own, body intact AND you are in your right
mind it is a STUPENDOUS DAY!
9) And
if some or none of number 8 is true on any given day, THANK God anyway because
He has it all in control!
10) Be a good
girlfriend, when they need a sympathetic ear, lend one, a prayer partner, stand
in the gap with them, a soft but strong shoulder, provide one, the truth, tell
them, when they need a ride or die, down and dirty, oh hell no, make the plan
but make sure a great martini, margarita, Bellini or two, three…you get the
point…gets in the way before you can go through with the devious plan…she’ll
thank you in the morning and it makes for great laughs years later!
11) “Accept your defeats with your head held
high, eyes wide open, with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child”-Veronica
A. Shoffstall
12) Celebrate
those that show up, do not fret over those who do not. It is disrespectful to
those that show up.
13) Hold
steadfast to your dreams! NEVER EVER give up on them!
14) God constantly
talks to us. He is that whisper we sometimes shoo away. Pay attention to the
whisper. It’s so much easier to just let God have His way!
15) Everything
that feels good ain’t good for you. You know that TLC song “don’t go chasing waterfalls, please stick to the river and the lakes
that you’re used to. So much common sense truth in that statement. Yes, we
all want to sometime explore that “greener grass”, however remember, when you
sacrifice your moral compass you pay dearly.
16) And...in
the event you do walk off the “straight and narrow” don’t think you can’t
simply STOP what you’re doing and turn around. So simple…there’s that common
sense again.
17) “Having a vision for what you want is not
enough! Vision without execution is hallucination!” - Edison
18) Be kind to
your mother. Not only is it the right thing to do, you really should know she
understands more then you give her credit for. She is a woman after all and she has a story too. The longer I live the
more I understand my mother. I like to believe that when we finally mature
enough to see our parents as people and realize how at different times in their
lives they had wants, dreams, desires and goals that had to be altered because
they became parents, it can be that AHA! where finally we can give them a pass
on whatever slight we thought they exacted on us as children.
19) And even if
you are not ready to embrace #18 you are now grown and get to “say so” over your
own life so “say so” and keep forging ahead with the life you want and dream!
20) “Sometimes you have to encourage yourself.
Sometimes you have to speak victory during the test and no matter how you feel,
speak the word and you will be healed, speak over yourself, encourage yourself,
in the Lord”-Donald Lawrence
21) …or as
Ledisi put it…“Bravo…Clap for yourself”.
It is so very important to give yourself a “pat on the back”.
22) Another
nugget from my mom…“NEVER pass up the
chance to give someone a genuine compliment or smile, it costs you nothing and
just might change the course of their day!”
23) One more
from Edie…“never think you are better
then someone or beneath someone! To do so promotes pride, jealousy and prejudice.”
24) LEARN to
accept a compliment. Don’t diminish the goodwill of a kind word with some
negative dig on yourself. A genuine, gracious thank you is in order and will
suffice.
25) “If you cannot hear the sound of the
genuine in you, you will all of your life spend your days on the ends of
strings that somebody else pulls.”-Howard Thurman
26) Learn to
actively listen and give your full attention. Everyone has a story.
27) FORGIVE, Yourself and others.
28) “Work hard. Be kind.” – Jack Kelly and
I will add, be grateful. “Gratitude is
not only the greatest of virtues but the parent of all the others.” -- Cicero
29) “The
minute you settle for less then you deserve, you get even less then you settle
for.” – Author unknown…Know you are worthy of all things good.
30) “It is always the simple that produces the
marvelous!”--Amelia Barr
31) Happy 30th
Birthday
Holly!
May you be blessed with at least 30 x 30 more!
Love, your cousin,
Lisa
©
June 2012
I love, love, love this! Thanks for having Lisa write it, and you for publishing it!!XO
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