Sweet Memories Last a Lifetime

This whole adult thing is NOT all it is cracked up to be at times. There are many days I would love to go back to being a Toys R Us kid, which includes all the naps I fought against back then. I knew nothing; I should have dived in my bed with relish. What I wouldn't give to have a guaranteed nap EVERYDAY again.

Last month was one of those times which left a permanent hole in our lives and made me want to crawl in a hole and hide for a bit. You see...after a long illness, my mother's godmother, my grandmother's best friend for over 50 years, took her final breath.

The more I encounter grief, I am learning it is a fickle thing. No one person handles it the same and there is no right or wrong. Here are some things I have found helpful while dealing:

• Remain present. Tackle their everyday burdens without them having to ask because it removes the pressure of them HAVING to do anything - i.e. errands, cooking, taking care of the children, cleaning - because if someone wants to lay in the bed all day, they are entitled that right if it helps them cope. 
• Listen and engage when they want to reminisce. 
• Make sure food is prepared for if they want to eat. 
• Don't treat them any different or walk on eggshells - just follow their cues on how they are interacting with you and build off of it. You can always tell when they are having a good or bad day.  
• Check in with them - send a quick text or call to let them know you are thinking of them...BUT do not be offended if they do not get back to you. 
• And above all of the other things I mentioned, show them love. A hug goes a long way - always remember, tomorrow is never promised and people will always remember how you made them feel. 

Gone are the days where I will pick up the phone and hear, hey baby, how are you doing?; or when she used to talk to me about these spoiled rotten boys. You see, she had one son, two daughters, and out of all of her grandchildren - only one was a boy. So she made it her duty to ensure we were taking great care of my my dad (oh how she loved the Inspector - she would tell people often he was her husband too), Collin, Pricey, and my uncles because you see, in her eyes...they could do NO wrong.

Then there was my personal favorite when she used to talk about my "dating life" and hers from the past. Ahhhhh...the laughs always ensued.

We all miss Aunt Mamie in different ways and capacities. It is small comfort to know she is no longer experiencing any pain. I will hold the lessons she has taught me close to my heart and remember to follow my own desires, speak my mind, and to laugh. There is always something worth smiling.

Rest well Sweet (she is probably cackling at being called sweet) Mamie Louise.