Sheer Panic

I have another confession - sheesh, has this blog become my diary?! I figured after yesterday's post, I should follow up on how I am actually feeling about some of the things discussed. SO here we are...

A few months ago, I was struck with sheer panic. I immediately text Drea freaking out. What was the cause of this almost panic attack?! I was creating my Dive Into 35 pinterest board and all of a sudden I felt this sinking feeling in my stomach. Ummmm...I was preparing TO TURN 35. 35. Closer to 40. But yet, NOT closer to where I thought I would be at this point in my life.

Sure, my chosen career path is great. However, I cannot help but to feel stifled by the industry I am in - I am pretty sure my creative side would flourish better elsewhere.

My love life is pretty much still non-existent, yet I have so much love to give...but I am not willing to just give it away to ANYBODY for the sake of saying I am with SOMEBODY. My love will be earned.

And then there's the elephant in the room. I ALWAYS envisioned myself as a mother. This was NEVER a question on if this would be added on my to do list...more like WHEN and with WHO.

This peanut sure helps soften the blow.

Not sure how Drea talked me off of this ledge, but as it is today...I know for a fact I am right where God wants me to be in life. I still find myself questioning the why, and one day I am sure the answer will reveal itself to me. In the meantime, I have to breathe and stay the course continuing on his intended path learning lessons along the way. Frustrated, but STILL breathing & learning.