Oh Felicia! I met her through Jeannette and she is such a bubbly personality with lots of ideas, ready to throw herself head first into EVERY project. She knows no obstacles until she encounters them face on. The positive spirit she exudes is contagious and you can't help but to be optimistic in her presence. Here's her take on turning 30.
I will be the first to admit,
prior to turning 30, I had A LOT of reservations! I’m not married, never even
been pregnant, and NOWHERE near my career goals for myself. Society places a
lot of pressure upon young women (especially black women). "You can’t be too
big", because then your fat; "you can’t be too thin", because then you have an
eating disorder; 'can’t be too strong" because you’ll emasculate your mate; "can’t be too weak"or you’ll be left for dead and the list just goes on!
I have been 30 for a little
over a month and contrary to popular belief, it is not the end of the world!
Prior to my 30th Birthday, I had a plethora of things on my "to do
list" and when March 3rd came a lot of them were not crossed off.
Things ranging from health and fitness goals, career goals, becoming
closer with God, and even interpersonal goals surely made the list!
However in retrospect, I see
and understand this deeper transition into womanhood (if you will) is a
spiritual thing more than anything. You can wish, hope, and even pray
for the desires of your heart sun up to sun down, yet until God is ready for
you (if he’s ever ready for you) to move into that role/blessing, you won’t!
It is just that simple!
Months, weeks, and days leading
up to my birthday I felt like I had to rush! Rush to lose weight, rush to
acquire insight, rush to (overall) become a better person. Almost like I was
placed on hospice and was trying to get right with the lord before it was my
time to be with the Lord. When all along I needed to be trying to be the best
me possible every day, despite how many candles would be on my next birthday cake.
Life is what you make it!
Bottom line! I now know more than ever that your 20’s are a training ground,
dedicated to making mistakes. Consider your 20’s to be your internship. You are
discovering your likes, dislikes, what makes you smile, what makes you cry. Establishing your personal code of ethics and most importantly establishing
your view on the world. So when you DO turn the BIG 3-0, you are ready to
start that job at LIFE headquarters.
I have lost tons of
girlfriends, increased my number of estranged family members, and gained some
awesome friends along the way. At the end of the day, you can’t be everything to
everybody! And that was a big issue for me because I am such a giving
individual.
One must live life with no
regrets and simply chalk mistakes of the past up to lessons learned, with the
aspirations of not repeating in the future. This is a motto that I have placed
near and dear to my heart. As I go along this path called life, I am fully
understanding everyone is not going to be in favor of every decision I
make, but as long as I AM IN FAVOR, that is all that matters. I am the only one
that has to live (FULLY) with the weight of my actions. This notion must also
be applied towards my friends and loved ones. Over the years I watched girlfriend
after girlfriend, deal with the "no-good loser" and I remember feeling so helpless. Shoot, I
have even lost close (or what I perceived at the time) girlfriends because I
was too honest of a friend. Initially the end of these relationships,
sisterhoods (if you will) were very devastating. I love hard and take my
girlfriends very personally and always have and will have their best interest
at heart. So when my motives are examined, when my loyalty is bought in to the
station for questioning, it can be very disheartening! Yet I understand everyone is not meant to be in our lives forever and some we must truly love
from afar!
What advice I would give to
women as they embark/ transition into the big 3-0, is that yes life is short,
but 30 is not the end! You must always be true to yourself, and until you
are you will NOT be able to be true to those around you! It is OK to say "NO" sometimes and SOMETIMES you gotta say "YES" (even when we don’t want to!). Creating BALANCE is key and without balance we will always be off.
God is the BEST friend
you could ever have. You can’t share all your blessings and joys of life with
everyone. Despite our hopes and ambitions, everyone is not in our corner. Wellness and fitness impact ALL areas of life and are crucial to living an
overall successful life. Find out what inspires you and hold on to that
for dear life! Having goals and a definitive plan is awesome, sometimes
necessary. Nevertheless, understanding that our time and God’s time is not
always in the same “time-zone”. Once in awhile we have to give ourselves a
break, understanding we are human is so important. And lastly WE
MUST define ourselves - not society, our family, our spouses/significant others
and not our friends! Thus, define YOU for YOU and live up to being the BEST YOU
possible!
I wish you nothing short of love, peace and blessings! The journey is
waiting for you to enjoy….so embrace it!
Well said. Teona
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