When I am deep in thought, wine helps...but since I have none (and I am on a break from liquor), I guess dessert in my wine glass will suffice. So let's talk. I have some things on my mind.
Imagine marrying your college sweetheart in a wedding that cost over $100,000 - a man you have known for over 10 years and then your marriage lasts just 9 months...this happened and it saddens me. I cannot understand how you lived with each other prior to the wedding and you appeared to be so happy with your best friend, yet as soon as it is official that became the beginning to the end?!
This makes me look at relationships that have transcended over time. My mind is bombarded with questions and I wonder why divorce rates are so high. Is it true people are jumping into relationships with people they do not know OR they become comfortable and settle with who they are with because that is what they are used to.
And what about the change in gender roles? Since women no longer have just a traditional place (cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the children) in the household - is it threatening to some men that some women make more money and are not afraid to speak their opinions in regards to how the home is ran.
Does our generation lack the tenacity it takes to make a marriage work? Do we not possess the drive and dedication it takes to overcome issues, growth, and change together with our beloved? Is it the fear of being hurt that causes people to take a step back? (But doesn't it hurt when you distance yourself from your love? Yet it is ok if you initiated the divide?)
What is it that no longer makes love enough?
Well my beloved, let me just say it has been my observation that people are just too quick to walk away when the going gets tough. Marriage, a working marriage, is ALWAYS a work in progress. While I know everybody's "deal breakers" are different and there are some real life saving reasons to get divorced, we also know that the one constant in life is change and I guess the impasse happens when one in the relationship is no longer willing to walk on the same road, whether it is smooth or bumpy. Clearly there was a lot wrong with the couple you referenced prior to the "I do's" but neither of them wanted to be truthful and address it. No two marriages are alike and they all take work and as I stated at the top, it has been my observation, people are not willing to do the work it sometimes takes to get a marriage over the rough patch. I say there are 3 constant cyclical stages of marriage--1)head over heels (you can't get enough of each other), 2)peacefully co-existing (everything is good, nothing exciting, maybe even a bit routine but good) and 3)you can't stand one another. No matter the stage, if you have not invited God to the wedding and into the marriage, you are going to have a time in stage 3 because it is with God that all things are possible and it is with God that you get out of stage 3 and back to stage 1 or 2. Just me two cents!
ReplyDelete