Ahhhhh Alicia...once again, you are the FIRST submission for 35 to 35, just like 30 to 30. Funny how things repeat themselves, yet many things have changed. Our friendship deeper; relationship more profound. Thanks for being my "twin" and always knowing what I need; forcing me to face hard truths even when I want to run from them; and understanding all these feelings I have & suppress.
Now tell me why we should not read those comments...I cannot help myself - I ALWAYS sneak a peak.
Now tell me why we should not read those comments...I cannot help myself - I ALWAYS sneak a peak.
The advice is sound. Don’t read the comments. I should have known it wouldn’t end well but here we are, post-comment-reading.
I follow a message board for black married couples. Really, women frequent the site more than men. The articles are typically superficial. The comments are a perfect balance of terror and hilarity. Here I am, single at 35 on the brink of my own partnership, reading the comments.
The range of horrifying yet comical commentary has me reflecting on my own life. I’m comfortably in my mid-30s. I believed the older women in my life who told me 30-something is better than 20-something. I’ve found it to be true.
When it comes to men, I’m far more confident to say what I want without apology or explanation. When it comes to parenthood, my goals and my behaviors are intentional. I talk to my kids the way I want them to relate to the world. My career is incredible. I’ve finally figured out what I want to spend the rest of my life doing, even on those tough days.
Yet, here I am… still reading the comments as if I have more to figure out.
This is what I’ve concluded. Those yoga-inspired memes about life being a journey are helping us understand what our elders have already understood. We aren’t arriving at any final answers. Instead, more truths become more clear as we experience life, questioning our actions, overcoming heartache, and facing disappointment.
I rolled my eyes when my 80 year old grandmother giggled about her new boyfriend. Why in the world would anyone want to still be dating at 80?! But she knows what I am still coming to discover: the truths of my life are still revealing themselves even at 35. So, why wouldn’t they at 80?
As I type this and my daughter sings the Moana soundtrack in the background, I am tasked to remain open to the lessons of every day, every month and every year.
I’m in love. I’m determined. I spend too much. I curse a lot. I’ve got travel plans. I get lazy and I’m anxious. Every last bit of all of it is absolutely ok…even at 35…and even in the comments.
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