Guest Blogger: Life, Liberty, & the Pursuit of Happiness

When we were flirting with 30, Jeannette could not believe it was finally her turn. And yet here we are 5 years later on her 35th birthday. Let me be the first to yell: HAPPY BIRTHDAY J! (And uhhhhh - I am first since I am typing this on 12/30. LOL!) My birthday wish for you this year is continued success in life and love...along with decisiveness as you build your dream home. But don't fret...my change is always ready for a good game of heads/tails when you like something equally the same. I cannot wait to see the finished product! 

When Holls asked for a guest blog and said any topic was open, I was like c'mon - you can't give me ANY topic. I mean that to say: I. Have. LIVED. So narrowing it down is hard. Today I step into 35 and it is welcomed. Over the past 34 years, I have been through my share of ups and downs. BUT with every turn a lesson was learned and although it is cliche - it made me stronger (however, I wouldn't say I would make all the same mistakes again if I had a do over). So I decided to give advice to my fellow 30-something peers about some of the lessons I have learned in regards to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

1. PUT YOURSELF FIRST. Have you ever noticed how happy selfish people are? This for me meant thinking twice before offering my time, money, and most importantly not doing things I REALLY didn't want to do. So if someone asks you for money, but you planned on spending it on a new purse...buy the purse and let them ask someone else. If someone asks you to run an errand for them and you're in bed...say you're busy and pull the covers over your head. It's ok!

2. RESPECT YOURSELF. Now you might be thinking, huh?! I do. BUT I thought I did too until I realized on more than one occasion I allowed people to disrespect me (boyfriends, friends, and family alike) by talking negatively about me, cheating on me (boyfriends), and taking advantage of me. I learned removing these people from my life is so cleansing. Try it! Your skin will glow; your hair will grow; and you will sleep so good at night.
3. WORK HARD. Now is not the time for slacking. At this age, you should be where you want to be or working diligently to get there. In my professional career, I have always been a hard worker. Most times, I thought it went unnoticed, but since I have the tendency to want everything to be "right", I would do it anyway. Well I will say that "doing it anyway" got me promoted quickly. Even in my new job, I doubled my starting salary in 2 years. So hard work does pay off. Don't be a slacker.
4. FRIENDS. They are the family you get to choose. So choose wisely. I am blessed at 34, I obtained the discernment in #2 and I am happy with all who are left. I have a ton of friends, but they are all so good to me and whenever I need anything in the world I can call one of them to fix it or help me figure it out. Each group of friends is different. They have different talents, but all have been key into me becoming wiser, more fearless, and makes life much more enjoyable. For that I am grateful.

5. LOVE. Now my lifelong love life is a book, but we don't have time for that....but here is what I have learned about MEN. They are simple creatures. As my husband says, "I'm a basic bitch". I have learned all they want is someone to love them unconditionally. So when they leave their shoes in the middle of the floor, you will pick them up...remind him to put them away, then take care of the issue and come back to give him a hug. Men aren't perfect and they know it, but the constant reminders are considered nagging and they hate that. Next, feed them. They love to eat and be served. It's like a thing and they feel like a King. Moving on...tired or not, you gotta give up the goods...without it, they go nuts (and stray). Lastly, they are visual. Often times to get your point across they need to "see" what you mean. To turn them on they need to "see" a picture of you and don't forget to stroke their ego by throwing in that you think they are handsome every once in awhile. Lastly, don't be weak. Believe it or not - they hate it and if they stay, they have no respect for you and will likely never marry you or constantly treat you like shit. Be best friends, lovers, and acknowledge everyday isn't perfect. BUT start again the next one.

So here's to 35...I welcome it with open arms. My teens were years I lost. My 20s were years I found myself. And my 30s...well, so far it's been learning, living, and loving. BRING IT ON!